Of Friends Parte Nueve

I apologize for the delay; sometimes events and people converge to create extenuating situations, you know?  But despite the busyness of life, there should always be this awareness that we have something to keep as motivation, which keeps us going when the next big one comes around.  What do I mean?  I'm not really all that sure, it just makes a lot of sense to me to anticipate that the fruits of our labor and investment will return to us in some way.  I have to believe that this happens- otherwise actions can become trivial and eventually feel next to empty.  

Today's person is Jason Kwock.  We met briefly frosh year of college but I did not get to know him until our sophomore year and I still did not know who he really was then either.  But as we both became more involved at church and saw each other, we clicked from the start.  He eventually moved in with our crew during senior year.  I did not know him for as long as the rest of the roommates but he quickly became one of the closest friends.  I think it is his casual attitude and laid-back demeanor.  I detect his values and his humility when in the company of others and he's always been a hard worker and loyal friend to me.  Whenever I've needed something, he's been there to help me out and not lazily question why he needs to do it nor bail out on me.  That goes a long way in my book- a person consistently keeping his word with the small and big things.  We've remained good friends ever since we graduated and I usually stay at his apartment whenever I visit Irvine.  I don't worry about our friendship.  We both approach the problems and ish that come our way in similar ways.  It's funny because I usually don't like the people that are like me in mannerisms and personality; it's like the laws of magnetism and how polarization occurs.  It's how my social dynamic (not) works.  

Jason's a friend I can rely on.  I define the best friends as those who are able to drop whatever they are doing and go the extra distance to bail someone else out.  It's not about how well we know someone; it's a comparison and measure of how much we love ourselves and others regardless of proximity.  

Of Friends Parte Ocho

She's flamboyant, aggressive, crazy, and in-your-face...but she's especially someone I've loved from the start: Agathe Philbe. She's about to move back home to Paris. I haven't been this sad to see a friend leave in a long time. Our time together was much too brief. We met up with some friends at Bossa Nova in SOMA...ah Brazilian Vodka. It was good to enjoy her company one last time (for now).

I met her last fall when we both took Butler's lighting class. I admired her courage and backstory, especially learning of her time spent in Spain. Spain was one of the countries I visited after my time at Cambridge on my own. I remember the thirteen-hour bus ride from Gallieni to Madrid. It was one of the most memorable bus rides I ever took, sitting next to a man from Ivory Coast who described the French country as it zipped by and educated me about the internationals all on the bus. He could tell me who to watch out for: "Be careful about those men; they know Spanish, French, English, whatever the people speak here. They'll take advantage of you."

I'll remember the smile of the young French woman that I asked for help at the transfer station...she didn't respond to me, but her pursed lips perhaps belied her shyness. But we rode together on that bus from Gallieni. When we stepped off that bus during the early-morning hours in Madrid, she gave me the same smile and walked away. I'd like to be cheesy and I'd also like to be thoughtful in saying that Agathe's smile reminds me of that woman. I don't have many strong memories of France. I fell in love with the place like a person would with someone that instantly enchants him; it's the mystery that pulls.

Agathe's an honest person. She's open about her misgivings about herself and about others but it has never felt like grandstanding. I've felt a familiarity with her and smile whenever we meet up because she has something to tell me...not just in words but with presence. Her words in person as well as her blog are not prosaic whatsoever. In fact, I wish I could communicate my heart as well as she does in print. I really do. It's fantastically poetic and candid. I wish I had a chance to sit down and read more of her thoughts.

I don't worry about Agathe that much either. I'd like to think that her travels calm my wanderlust to some degree. It's probably because we share a sort of perspective on the world that we can only deduct as a result of being there. We can talk about a place and that switch goes off...and I liken it to that woman from France: I don't remember what she looked like but I remember how she made me feel.

Agathe, besos dondequiera te vas! Fue un placer por todo el tiempo. Me hare un viaje alli algun dia :)

Of Friends Parte Siete

Today was our last day of usability class...man it feels good to be done with that. Afterwards we went to House of Shields right by 79 N. Montgomery. I miss those chill times at the pub and just dishing, you know? I always enjoy those times with my classmates, new and old. There's always something to discuss.

Who do we have today? Juliet Chung. Ah, I cannot say enough about this gal. She's close to the top of my best friends list. In all honesty I'm not sure what connected us in the beginning but I've always trusted Jules to be around. She's got a full heart...much more full than I think she'll ever admit. But she's honest with me all the time and that takes the cake for me. We've both been through a lot together and it's tough finding the time to talk with the distance...but that does not worry me too much. She's one of the first I call whenever I visit SoCal and I don't ever feel bad about letting her know what's up. That's something I take for granted too often. You don't find a lot of people that'll find the time for you...I mean really drop what they're doing for you. We can just slide right back into life like it was back in the day whenever we reconnect. She's easy to love. I'm lucky to know you Jules!

Of Friends Parte Seis

I just got back home from school. San Francisco is beautiful at this hour...the streets are murmuring, the neons are dancing, the bouncers are....big. Ha! One of the first things I did as I walked out of 180 New Montgomery was check the weather. 40 degrees F. I guess it's hard to judge when in the city. It's always a little bit warmer than home. I enjoy the late night walks along the streets. I like the sense of solitude in a metropolis...especially in the ones that do not sleep. You know there's always something going on but you're glad that you are enough removed from it to enjoy the hum of the distance.

This week goes out to Ramon Esquivel. We've worked together for about a year and he has become a fine friend. We're both drummers with similar tastes in music and their rhythms but more importantly Ramon stands out from many of the millenials, seduced by tech and the excesses of pop culture. Wait, that sounds like me. ;) But what I want to say about Ramon is that he reminds me of a younger Marcus. I'm glad that I can revisit and reframe many of my beliefs with him. It's the closest experience I've had so far when it comes to imagining what it would be like to go back in time and have a conversation with myself. Often times I want to just tell Ramon "don't do this" or "try going about this a certain way" but that's no way to be a true(r) friend. It's difficult for me to get over the pride. I want to let people know what's up- and I know that there needs to be lessons learned live.

Ramon's a guy I trust. He's become a sort of little brother to me and I'm humbled to have a friend that looks up to me as well. It gives me motivation to be a better person.

Of Friends Parte Cinco

The nights are getting colder but the conversations are getting better. I'm not certain of any correlation going on here but that is just what has happened. Maybe it has to do with the anticipation of the season...the momentum gained from people returning and bringing back that visceral energy to a place we all call home or at least view as the closest thing to it.

It's finals week. I'm strangely calm but the stresses and accompanying strife will arrive soon enough. I'm looking forward to the end of the term, anxious about the next. I've been lucky to enjoy the company and education of art school; it has brought me into the company of some great characters and it has made the world a slightly smaller environment. It feeds my small wanderlust and more importantly it reminds me of the desire to see the world again with faith in the world. Maybe my personal legend is out there (another Alchemist invocation for self-aggrandizement).

On to today's friend. Luis Hernandez. He was one of the first people I met at art school. I kept running into him, whether it was at orientation, on the bus and eventually for each of our courses during our first term. Frankly, I thought he was emo-spectacular with his piercings, tattoos, cockroach killers and flaming head of hair. But you know what? Appearances aren't everything. Somehow we became good friends, helping each other with projects and just goofing off in general. Luis is an incredible talent with a great artistic background. I'm glad I ran into him first while in school because I gained a sense of how an artist goes about his work and his process. I haven't seen much of him this past year but I was lucky to assist him on a shoot some months ago. I think we both learned a lot from that...and I've found that Luis has a lot to give when it comes to inspiration.

You're a cool cat Hernandez!

Of Friends, Parte Cuatro

In honor of her recent birthday, this one goes out to Joyce So. I have known her since my junior year of college but I feel it has been much longer than that. I did not immediately get to know her, I just knew she was with my best friend Steve. As I noticed the subtle changes in Steve's demeanor over the next few months, I knew Joyce had much to do with it. It made me happy, and I made it a goal of mine to make sure she would keep that influence going.

I remember the fun memories from our study-abroad program at Cambridge, including late night McDonald's runs for ice cream, watching episodes of LOST in the room, laughing at her doze off in our History of British/American Espionage, punting on the Cam, trying to lock her in my room in Scotland that I thought was ghost-inhabited, mocking and then marveling at her ingenuity when she brought instant rice, seaweed and a pot (yes, a pot) in her bag, and running into drunkards which seemed like every other day. Ah...memories.

Joyce is essentially the sister that I have always wanted in my mind's eye. She's playful yet thoughtful and most importantly, she listens to me. HA! I kid, I kid (sort of). It is rare to develop that sort of relationship with a friend and she is again among the few that have given much to me. Over the last years I have remembered how lucky I am to to have a person of genuine character really affect others around her in such a meaningful way. I'm thankful for your generosity of spirit and for accepting me without reservation.

Of Friends Parte Tres

This entry is a bit of a twist.  It's about an old friend- in fact she's among the first friends I made in life and she's always been a close one as well: Bonnie Chen.  We grew up together and went through school all the way through high school.  We've always been around one another somehow.

Now, I have not seen much of Bonnie since we both went to college.  Although I would visit her school every so often (UCLA) considering it was only an hour away from Irvine, I regret not taking the opportunity to catch up more often.  In any case, Bonnie ranks high on my list when it comes to her thoughtfulness.  She would be one of the few to consistently remember my birthday and send that timely Christmas card.  I also love her handwriting.  It's art.  :)  She's also a bit of a jock, able to play all sports and excel at them.  That has always endeared me to her.  

In more recent years I'm glad that we have been able to reconnect on a more visceral level.  I have told Bonnie repeatedly that she cares too much...she lets it get to her...But you know what I think?  Ultimately I believe that is a product of being raised well.  She's emotionally invested and expects a lot because she strives to think the best of others, hoping that in turn the best will return back to her.  I'm in love with that idealism along with her but it sets us up for many more disappointments.  But I know Bonnie does not regret doing that because the conscience won't let that happen.  Although I do not know a whole lot about what is going on in your life, I'm still thankful that you are frank with yourself and that in the times you have confided in me, you have helped me become more honest with myself too, Bonnie.  My best!

  

Of Friends Parte Dos

This day's entry is close to the chest. It involves another work connection and includes two people this time around: Toan and Holly.

Toan was the first person I ever met at work, even before I started the job. I could instantly tell he was a good guy to be around- easygoing, mature and thoughtful. Over the next year and half we followed the Warriors and their playoff push and dished on video games. I remember the times we would take our lunch breaks in the back and Toan seemed to opportunistically ask me a lot of philosophy questions. He was good at asking me and following up on my replies. At first it sort of irritated me but it reminded me of all those times in college when we would talk about gnosticism, existentialism, and all of those questions about choice. It returned a feeling of familiarity and a sense of belonging that I missed since I moved back home.

As a person, Toan is someone I would consider the next closest thing to a big brother I have here. We have very similar interests and motivations and he challenges me in ways that I wish happened in college. He is definitely on my short-list of brothers. This brings me to....

...Holly, Toan's girlfriend. Now, this girl is one of the sweetest ones out there. I recall Toan describing her to me and based on his character, I knew the girl in his life had to be someone special. Indeed she was! When I happened to mention my birthday to Toan last year, he told Holly and she wanted to help cook and host my birthday party. Considering I barely even knew her, I was completely surprised and humbled by her and Toan's kindness. She definitely did it up, entrees and cake. Since then, I've stayed over at their place and Holly has always cooked up some deliciousness, filled the air mattress for me and laughed at my corny jokes. Holly, I'm still not sure why you are so good to me but I am grateful for you trusting and welcoming me.

I cannot say enough about you two. I'm not so sure about the longevity of friendships these days but I do not worry about our relationship. You are tops in my book!

Seasoning

I'm thankful for the change in seasons. It makes me more prone to moodiness but at my core that is where I have always been most like myself. I feel crowded by myself because I let my unreleased thoughts keep me company like fog above the ground. It does not really hover, it is more like a settling mist that is waiting for the warmth to release it. In a way, thoughts are not distracting me; rather it is people and places of the day that interrupt me. This is not to sound like I do not care about coworkers and classmates (whom I love), but for a person who often wears his emotions on his sleeve, deliberately staying in the present thought keeps me going. Can you tell I am reading The Alchemist?

The season has a way of getting to us. There is a certain relevance that transports us back to a familiar emotion and hopefully a happy memory. This time around I am learning to appreciate the friendships I have made and developed (especially the friends made since I graduated). So for each day leading up to Christmas, I am posting about a friend/acquaintance that has done much for me.

I am going to start with Jackie Huynh. She is my supervisor at work but she is also a friend whom I care deeply for. She's stubborn as heck and incredibly independent but she's like a sister to me...the older sister I wish I grew up with. I like to think she laughs at my jokes and my aphoristic hoo-ha because they strike a chord with her, but maybe that's a result of her personality. She knows what it is like to be loved and gives back in kind. Sometimes I do not understand the form
this takes but like with any friendship we take a chance on, you have to embrace all of it if you want the most you can get. I am usually silent in my disagreements with her but like I said, it is not difficult to tell what I am feeling so I think she knows for the most part. And even if not, we can respect the privacy of each other's thoughts. I have known Jackie since early 2007 (which is not that long) but I have learned much about the kind of person she is, despite how little I really know about her in detail. I can see the goodness in her heart that I have found in few others. I am lucky to work with someone whom I can depend on. She is one of the reasons I enjoy doing what I do.



Time to get the ball rolling. See you tomorrow (today)!